31 Days-Day 1

For the past couple of years in October (2012 and 2013), I have participated in the 31 Days writing event hosted by The Nester.

This year, I am a bit weary.

My writing has been almost non-existent.

It started fading with our preparations to move.  Not enough time, too many projects.

And after my mom’s cancer diagnosis, the words simply wouldn’t come.

I know my voice is still there.  But the voice gets lost in a crisis.

I’ve had moments these past couple of weeks when I start remembering things about myself.  I turned into my neighborhood a couple days ago, admiring the crisp air and thought, “I like fall.”  I’ve always looked forward to this season.  And I forgot.

Turning away from my inner voice hasn’t helped.  Well, maybe it helped get through those long days in August.  Maybe it helped get through returning to the routine of life.  Not really thinking, just doing.

But now I feel like I need more.  I’m waking up…remembering.  Kind of.  Some days are better than others. 

I want to keep moving forward.  I’m worried that if I don’t start moving forward, I will get stuck.  I won’t be a real person anymore.  I will just be someone who “gets through” life.  I’ve done that before.  Survival mode.  It’s not living.

Moving forward isn’t about forgetting.  Moving forward isn’t about pretending I don’t have bad moments…or bad days.  Moving forward isn’t about perfection. 

Moving forward is about simplicity.  Moving forward is about quiet moments.  Moving forward is giving myself grace.

So for the next 31 days (ok, 30 days), I’m going to do my best to force the voice the come out.  Even if it is just for a tiny bit. 

A small reflection. 

A moment.

To read all posts in the series, please look below.

Day 2-Apologies

Day 3-Blank Page

Day 4-Another Story

Day 5-Comfort

Day 6-Standing Still

Day 7-Little Hearts

Day 8-Sometimes We Cry

Day 9-Dreams

Day 10-Sleepless

Day 11-Slowing Down

Day 12-Rest Day

Day 13-Good Days

Day 14-Familiar Stories

Day 15-16 Coats

Day 16-Longing

Day 17-Pandas with Wigs

Day 18-RIP Elwood Wilson

Day 19-Sundays

Day 20-Quiet Time

Day 21-Brain Rest

Day 22-At Least

Day 23-Sisters' Day

Day 24-A Hole in My Soul

Day 25-Honesty

Day 26-Storms

Day 27-Messy

Day 28-Big Faith

Day 29-The Rising

Day 30-When the Words Finally Came

Day 31-Last Day