Here we are-the final post of the 31 Days of Being the Person series! Since Lucy inspired this series, I thought it would be fun to end with a picture that she drew at school. I found this on her vocabulary worksheet. That is sweat, not tears on that person’s face.
I have to admit, I’m a little relieved. My sister said it best a few days ago. She said that it must be challenging to take a close look at my life every single day. It has been. I’ve looked at the good of who I think I am and the gaps of who I want to be.
I noticed a few themes in this series.
I am so grateful for the blessings in my life. I am grateful for where I am on this journey.
I didn’t realize how much I still thought of survival mode. It’s almost as if my body has some sort of muscle memory. Even last night as I drove home after a late night of work and meetings, I caught myself remembering what that was like. Driving to work in the dark. Bracing for the fatigue.
Honestly, I’m glad that I still think of survival mode every once in a while. It taught me many life lessons. And it was in survival mode that I started to make changes. I always thought that once I “had the job I wanted, made enough money” that I could start working on myself. I had to start where I was. I had to start with eyes that burned from sleep deprivation and bitterness from the burdens I carried.
In the past 31 days, I saw a lot of who I wanted to be. Someone who encourages, who shows compassion and kindness. Someone who is intentional about doing those things. I would like to think that at times, I am that person. But I need grace. Because I make mistakes. I am harsh when I could be gentle.
I am also learning that trying to be this person is tiring. I thought that maybe I was being selfish in saying that. In admitting that there were days when I was empty, with nothing left to give. But I wasn’t designed to carry the burdens of the world. Those burdens are too heavy. I am allowed to let those go. I am allowed to rest.
I hope that by reading this series, you didn’t interpret this as a guidebook on how to live your life. I have been searching for how I should live. Each one of us has our own journey. There is no “right” way.
I also hope that you have been encouraged. Encouraged to find the person that you want to be.
This post is the last in my series:
To start from the beginning, please visit this page for a full listing.