Thursday, October 18, 2012

Day 19-I Will Wait

Billy is one of the most even keeled people that I know.  Thankfully Lucy has inherited that trait from him.  It took me a while, but now I understand why life is easier when Lucy is around with Katy and me.  Katy and I tend to go into overreacting or panic mode.  Lucy brings us down a notch or two.

Billy is a man of few words.  But his presence is calming.  He has been there through those dark times.  Through survival mode.  He was simply there.

And I came home
Like a stone
And I fell heavy into your arms
These days of darkness
Which we've known
Will blow away with this new sun

For someone like myself who tends to overreact, it is a blessing to have someone like Billy who is so even-tempered.  Being around Billy, I feel calmer. 

I have had some really crummy days at work.  Being a social worker married to someone in law enforcement can be both good and bad.  The good being he gets it when I have a bad day.  There have been moments when I have asked him to come home on time, instead of working late, and he does, without question.  He understands. 

With Billy, I don’t have to pretend to be a person who holds it all together.  I can fall apart, and he’s still the same.  And I know that he is with me, as I put myself back together.   

So I'll be bold
As well as strong
And use my head alongside my heart

But it’s not always like this.  I’ve talked about how my job wears on me.  Wears on my soul.  At times, Billy’s job wears on him too.  I can tell when it’s starting to get bad.  He doesn’t need to tell me.  I can tell just with how he is.  And it throws me off.  He’s my rock.

So how do I encourage someone who helps me stay stable and sane?  How do I encourage a man of few words?  I give him his space.  I encourage him to go on long hikes or bike rides.

And I will wait, I will wait for you

The quotes throughout this post are from a Mumford and Sons song.  I heard it several times before I started to make some connections.  You know how that is, that moment when a song becomes personal.  It made me think of Billy.  It made me think of what I can do to encourage him.  I will wait.

He has been there through survival mode.  He has been there in my moments of wanting to give up.  So in his low moments, I will wait.


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