Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Day 3 of Being the Person-The Change

Last summer, I just felt unsatisfied.  That’s what complaining does.  You don’t see the glass as half empty.  You see the glass as dirty and covered in dishwasher residue.  With stuck on bits of leftover food.  Your perspective is constantly negative.  Someone might share some good news and you are quick to think, “Yeah, but…insert negative comment here.

I tried surrounding myself with positive people, reading positive books, but when it came down to it, I had to take responsibility for how I felt.  Have you heard the expression, “Fake it ‘till you make it?  That’s where I started.

It was painful.  And slow.

Until I saw change.

One day, it didn’t seem to matter as much that things weren’t working out how I thought they should.  I knew that I would be ok.  I didn’t know how things would turn out, and I was ok with that.  I know, probably sounds corny.

The more that time went on, the better I started to feel.  I seriously reduced the amount of overanalyzing I gave to every situation.  What does that do anyway?  Overanalyzing is just a fancy word for worry.  Hmm…I just imagined Fancy Nancy saying that.  I wonder if she’s ever used that one in her books.

I also reduced overanalyzing (worrying about) other people and their motives.  I will never know why people do or think the things they do.  And I’m ok with that.  With that freedom, also comes giving people the benefit of the doubt.

I hope you noticed that I purposely used the word “reduced” instead of “stopped” overanalyzing.  Let’s face it, I can’t completely change that.  Perfection doesn’t exist.  I’m ok with that too.

It’s probably important to note that this change started to occur in the midst of me working seven days a week.  I think that’s important to note because sometimes life feels so hard.  Change doesn’t always occur when life is going well.  I always thought that once life got “better,” then I could focus on being a positive person.

Often we are forced to challenge ourselves to change our perspective in the middle of a negative.  During this time, I was bone tired.  I was working two jobs with a combination of day shifts and overnights.  I didn’t get to see my family very much.  I had a lot to complain about.  And I did complain…until the change.

I’m not here to sell a recipe for success.  This is my journey.  Again, it’s a process.  I’m not perfect.  I still complain sometimes.  I ask for grace and move on.

I am left with a lasting change in perspective.  And gratitude for the change.


This post is part of my series:


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