Monday, October 1, 2012

Day 2 of Being the Person-The Person I Used to Be



I struggled a bit starting this post.  I didn’t want this to be a negative post about who I used to be.

I think the word “unaware” is the best description.

I was unaware of how my thoughts and actions were impacting who I wanted to be and where I wanted to be.

Instead of being grateful for the blessings in my life, I would complain about the lack of.  How things never seemed to work out.  Folks, it wasn’t that bad.  My perception of life was skewed.

Many years ago, I started following a few blogs and got excited about the idea of starting one of my own.  I’m so glad that I didn’t start one at that time.  I’m sure that blog would have been sarcastic and snarky, complaining about my life and those around me, full of negativity.

I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago about how fast negativity spreads.  Have you noticed that?  Someone gets on a tangent complaining about their day and suddenly everyone else has something negative to contribute. 

I wish it was that easy to spread kindness or compassion.  Maybe it is.  It should be.

When I think back on that person, I think of all the time wasted.  All of the time I spent complaining and moping, I could have been living a life.  There is regret.

People would try to encourage me, to keep me going, to help me change my perspective.  It never seemed to stick. 

I wasn’t ready to change.

Yet.

The change didn’t happen overnight.  And shadows of my former self still exist.

I can only move forward.  I can only appreciate the life I have right now.  I can be grateful that my perception changed.

 

This post is part of my series:

 

To start from the beginning, please visit this page for a full listing.

2 comments:

  1. One afternoon my husband and I were going over our day with the lists of what went wrong, made us anxious or upset or frustrated. One started, the other kicked in and then I started to laugh.

    "Gee, this feels like a competition of who had the worst day! I don't know what the prize is, but there's something seriously wrong that we are both looking for a 'win' here."

    It seems common that there's something embarrassing in being pleased or even content in one's life. Isn't that ODD?

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    Replies
    1. "It seems common that there's something embarrassing in being pleased or even content in one's life. Isn't that ODD?"

      I completely agree-it is odd!! We should be making lists of what is going well, what we are thankful for. And we should be encouraging those conversations with others.

      Sometimes at the end of the day, I choose silence over the negativity. The negative seems even more powerful when given a voice.

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Be kind, not judgey