I struggled a bit starting this post. I didn’t want this to be a negative post about who I used to be.
I think the word “unaware” is the best description.
I was unaware of how my thoughts and actions were impacting
who I wanted to be and where I wanted to be.
Instead of being grateful for the blessings in my life, I
would complain about the lack of. How
things never seemed to work out. Folks,
it wasn’t that bad. My perception of
life was skewed.
Many years ago, I started following a few blogs and got
excited about the idea of starting one of my own. I’m so glad that I didn’t start one at that
time. I’m sure that blog would have been
sarcastic and snarky, complaining about my life and those around me, full of
negativity.
I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago about how
fast negativity spreads. Have you
noticed that? Someone gets on a tangent
complaining about their day and suddenly everyone else has something negative
to contribute.
I wish it was that easy to spread kindness or
compassion. Maybe it is. It should be.
When I think back on that person, I think of all the time
wasted. All of the time I spent
complaining and moping, I could have been living a life. There is regret.
People would try to encourage me, to keep me going, to help
me change my perspective. It never
seemed to stick.
I wasn’t ready to change.
Yet.
The change didn’t happen overnight. And shadows of my former self still exist.
I can only move forward.
I can only appreciate the life I have right now. I can be grateful that my perception changed.
This post is part of my series:
To start from the beginning, please visit this page for a
full listing.
One afternoon my husband and I were going over our day with the lists of what went wrong, made us anxious or upset or frustrated. One started, the other kicked in and then I started to laugh.
ReplyDelete"Gee, this feels like a competition of who had the worst day! I don't know what the prize is, but there's something seriously wrong that we are both looking for a 'win' here."
It seems common that there's something embarrassing in being pleased or even content in one's life. Isn't that ODD?
"It seems common that there's something embarrassing in being pleased or even content in one's life. Isn't that ODD?"
DeleteI completely agree-it is odd!! We should be making lists of what is going well, what we are thankful for. And we should be encouraging those conversations with others.
Sometimes at the end of the day, I choose silence over the negativity. The negative seems even more powerful when given a voice.