I struggled a bit starting this post. I didn’t want this to be a negative post about who I used to be.
I think the word “unaware” is the best description.
I was unaware of how my thoughts and actions were impacting who I wanted to be and where I wanted to be.
Instead of being grateful for the blessings in my life, I would complain about the lack of. How things never seemed to work out. Folks, it wasn’t that bad. My perception of life was skewed.
Many years ago, I started following a few blogs and got excited about the idea of starting one of my own. I’m so glad that I didn’t start one at that time. I’m sure that blog would have been sarcastic and snarky, complaining about my life and those around me, full of negativity.
I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago about how fast negativity spreads. Have you noticed that? Someone gets on a tangent complaining about their day and suddenly everyone else has something negative to contribute.
I wish it was that easy to spread kindness or compassion. Maybe it is. It should be.
When I think back on that person, I think of all the time wasted. All of the time I spent complaining and moping, I could have been living a life. There is regret.
People would try to encourage me, to keep me going, to help me change my perspective. It never seemed to stick.
I wasn’t ready to change.
The change didn’t happen overnight. And shadows of my former self still exist.
I can only move forward. I can only appreciate the life I have right now. I can be grateful that my perception changed.
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