As I have mentioned, over a year ago, I started to make some real change. There were moments that helped me change my perspective. Words that I heard before pierced my heart that summer.
One of those moments that summer was in church. So here I was, in the middle of this change, starting to feel that shift in perspective and still burdened by survival mode, and this was one of the readings:
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
I had heard this before. That day, I was struck by the verse. That day, my heart was understood. That day, I was being called to give away my burdens.
I wish I could say that at that moment, I felt relief. To be honest, I started to feel the full weight of the burdens I had been carrying. The overwhelming exhaustion. The uncertainty of change.
It was so hard. I worked seven days a week, I couldn’t rest. I had to go another job. I felt so isolated. It was as if Billy and the girls were completely separate from me.
On that day, in that moment, I felt understood. No one else “got” it. Family and friends tried to sympathize with me. They listened. They made suggestions. But they never understood the weary in my heart. I couldn’t expect them to.
There was comfort in the understanding-all you who are weary and burdened. Yes-that was me. It wasn’t just the physical drain. I always thought I had to carry the weight of our family. I had to do the “right” thing. And what was in my heart-the bitterness, the fatigue, the glimpse of hope-was all understood in that moment.
I knew that I had to let go of these burdens. And there was relief knowing that-you will find rest for your souls. I was allowed to let go.
Of course, that was only one moment in a string of moments that helped me change my perspective.
That verse strikes me today. My life looks a lot different. I don’t have the same burdens and worry, but they don’t just disappear forever.
They can become replaced with new worry.
But I am understood. My heart is understood. And I am allowed to let go.
**I also wanted to say "Hi!" from all of you joining me from 2day I Choose.
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