Day 27-Understood

As I have mentioned, over a year ago, I started to make some real change.  There were moments that helped me change my perspective.  Words that I heard before pierced my heart that summer. 

One of those moments that summer was in church.  So here I was, in the middle of this change, starting to feel that shift in perspective and still burdened by survival mode, and this was one of the readings:

 

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,

and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,

for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  

 

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

 

Matthew 11:28-30

 

 

I had heard this before.  That day, I was struck by the verse.  That day, my heart was understood.  That day, I was being called to give away my burdens. 

I wish I could say that at that moment, I felt relief.  To be honest, I started to feel the full weight of the burdens I had been carrying.  The overwhelming exhaustion.  The uncertainty of change.

It was so hard.  I worked seven days a week, I couldn’t rest.  I had to go another job.  I felt so isolated.  It was as if Billy and the girls were completely separate from me. 

On that day, in that moment, I felt understood.  No one else “got” it.  Family and friends tried to sympathize with me.  They listened.  They made suggestions.  But they never understood the weary in my heart.  I couldn’t expect them to.

There was comfort in the understanding-all you who are weary and burdened.  Yes-that was me.  It wasn’t just the physical drain.  I always thought I had to carry the weight of our family.  I had to do the “right” thing.  And what was in my heart-the bitterness, the fatigue, the glimpse of hope-was all understood in that moment.

I knew that I had to let go of these burdens.  And there was relief knowing that-you will find rest for your souls.  I was allowed to let go. 

Of course, that was only one moment in a string of moments that helped me change my perspective. 

That verse strikes me today.  My life looks a lot different.  I don’t have the same burdens and worry, but they don’t just disappear forever. 

They can become replaced with new worry. 

But I am understood.  My heart is understood.  And I am allowed to let go.

 **I also wanted to say "Hi!" from all of you joining me from 2day I Choose.

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