Day 31-At the End at Last

Here we are-the final post of the 31 Days of Being the Person series!   Since Lucy inspired this series, I thought it would be fun to end with a picture that she drew at school.  I found this on her vocabulary worksheet.  That is sweat, not tears on that person’s face.

 

I have to admit, I’m a little relieved.  My sister said it best a few days ago.  She said that it must be challenging to take a close look at my life every single day.  It has been.  I’ve looked at the good of who I think I am and the gaps of who I want to be.

I noticed a few themes in this series.

I am so grateful for the blessings in my life.  I am grateful for where I am on this journey. 

I didn’t realize how much I still thought of survival mode.  It’s almost as if my body has some sort of muscle memory.  Even last night as I drove home after a late night of work and meetings, I caught myself remembering what that was like.  Driving to work in the dark.  Bracing for the fatigue.

Honestly, I’m glad that I still think of survival mode every once in a while.  It taught me many life lessons.  And it was in survival mode that I started to make changes.  I always thought that once I “had the job I wanted, made enough money” that I could start working on myself.  I had to start where I was.  I had to start with eyes that burned from sleep deprivation and bitterness from the burdens I carried.

In the past 31 days, I saw a lot of who I wanted to be.  Someone who encourages, who shows compassion and kindness.  Someone who is intentional about doing those things.  I would like to think that at times, I am that person.  But I need grace.  Because I make mistakes.  I am harsh when I could be gentle. 

I am also learning that trying to be this person is tiring.  I thought that maybe I was being selfish in saying that.  In admitting that there were days when I was empty, with nothing left to give.  But I wasn’t designed to carry the burdens of the world.  Those burdens are too heavy.  I am allowed to let those go.  I am allowed to rest. 

I hope that by reading this series, you didn’t interpret this as a guidebook on how to live your life.  I have been searching for how I should live.  Each one of us has our own journey.  There is no “right” way.

I also hope that you have been encouraged.  Encouraged to find the person that you want to be. 

 

This post is the last in my series:

 

To start from the beginning, please visit this page for a full listing.