Monday, October 22, 2012

Day 23-Tenderness

I have been putting off this post.  This post about how to encourage Lucy.  Mainly because it is such a reflection of my faults as a parent.

Lucy has the unfortunate experience of being first in the birth order, which means that she bears the brunt of my parenting mishaps.  They are somewhat ironed out for Katy.

So this post, well, it cuts a little close.  It’s hard to take a look in the mirror and see your faults.  Especially when those faults are imposed on your child.

Lucy has a quiet, gentle spirit.  She is caring and kind.

And there are moments that I find myself being harsh to this precious girl.  I just want her to do her homework, and I don’t want any complaining.  I just want her to get ready for school.  I just want to work on my to-dos without interruption. 

Notice a theme here?  I’m noticing a couple, if I’m going to be honest here.  The first is that this is about me and my “wants.”  This really isn’t about Lucy.  The second is that I often expect perfection when I know that it does not exist.

Lucy needs my tenderness.  Lucy is encouraged by positivity and kind words.  My harshness doesn’t do anything, except maybe set her up for a bad day at school or drive a wedge between us.  Or drive a wedge between the person I am and the person I want to be.

Lucy is spot on with her wisdom.  She has always taken in the world.  She recognizes those moments that should be treasured.  She inspires me to be the best version of myself.

So instead of feeling a heap of guilt about who I have been with Lucy, I am going to think about who I want to be with Lucy.  Gentle.  Tender.  Understanding. 


This post is part of my series:


To start from the beginning, please visit this page for a full listing.


  1. I find that when I'm the harshest with my kids and getting on my nerves it's because I'm trying to do 2 things at once, like be on my iPad. Then I feel horribly guilty because, of course,money are more important than email. Give yourself grace for the day, and I will to. A new chance to get it right.

    1. Officially setting the reset button.... :)


Be kind, not judgey