Messy

 

Sometimes all of this self-reflection can be painful.

We are in the final stretch of 31 posts over 31 days.  These 31 days without a theme.  Messy grief could be a theme.

And I’m relieved that these 31 days are almost over.

Writing these posts has been like poking a wound.

And it was completely unintentional.

I didn’t set out to write about grief and pain.  And I certainly didn’t mean to expose this vulnerability.  Obviously, this is what is on my heart.

Unfortunately, the end of the 31 days doesn’t mean the end of these feelings.

That’s the thing about grief.  One moment, I think I am ok, focused at work, and it seems like a moment later, I am missing my mom.  These feelings rise to the surface so quickly at times and then return to the broken part of my heart where they came from.

There’s no predictability here.

I suppose that’s why this feels messy.

Messy and painful.

And real.


This post is part of my 31 Day series.  To start from the beginning, click here.