Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The right way

Sometimes I wish that I would take to heart some of those lovely bits of wisdom that I share with clients (I’d like to think they are lovely bits, anyway).  I really do believe these statements to be true.  The problem is I don’t always allow the same grace in my own life.

In my work, I meet a lot of moms.  Moms who are going through crisis.  A common thread is these moms ask a lot of questions/make a lot of references to being “right.”  “Am I doing the right thing?” “I don’t know the right thing to do.”  They want to do their best, but sometimes overlook the fact that they are already doing their best.

I’m sure that most of you know this, but I’m going to say it in case you don’t.  Or in case you need a reminder.  I sure do.

There is no right.

There is more than one way to raise a happy, healthy child. 

And this concept doesn’t just apply to motherhood.  It applies to life.

So I will say it again.

There is no right.

There is more than one way to live a fulfilled life.

And each one of us gets to define what that means.  And we also get to change our minds along the way.

Looking back on decisions that I’ve made, I get caught up in the “right” game too.  Did I say the right thing?  Was that the right decision to make?  Am I living my life the right way?  Am I teaching my kids the right things?

Also related to “right” is “enough.”  “Am I doing enough?”  “Am I good enough?” I’m sure you get the point. 

Hiding behind “right” and “enough” is doubt. 

Doubt is scared.  Always fearful.  Doesn’t trust instincts.  Questions every possible move.

Doubt makes me weary.  Doubt stops me from moving forward.  Doubt leads me to overanalyze everything.

In these moments, which happen frequently, I ask (maybe plead) for grace.  And through grace, I hear little bits of wisdom.  I hear that there is no right and that I am enough.

I hope I teach these ladies the same.  They are enough.

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