Don't be fooled

One of my lovely nieces graduated high school this past weekend.  What an exciting time!  Your whole life in front of you (not that I feel in any way that my life is over).  But that energy when you are young, the feeling that anything is possible, well, it can go away.

Fear can rear its ugly head.  Fear can settle in your head (along with the movie quotes and song lyrics).  Fear can prevent you from doing simple tasks.

I was packing for a conference in the mountains over this weekend and feeling incredibly fearful.  Although I have lived in Colorado for several years, I have never driven myself into the mountains.  Signs like “Don’t be fooled-steep grade” and “Runaway truck ramp,” tend to scare me a bit.  Seriously, there is a sign that says “Don’t be fooled.”  Are they trying to create panic?

I began to dread the trip because of having to drive.  I started wondering, when did I become so fearful?  And not only that, but when did fear start controlling me?  Especially over such a small task.

Only two years ago I made a two-day road trip with just me and my girls from Colorado to Illinois.  I wasn’t this frenzied.  What happened?

A thought rolled in my head (because that’s what they do in there)….a thought that told me to stop being paralyzed by fear.  It can be in the back of my mind, but I can’t let it control my thoughts or actions.  As I referenced in this post, sometimes we have to move forward in spite of the fear.  Really, the thought was more of a reminder.  I need lots of reminders.

So I drove into the mountains, and I lived.  A few days later I drove back out of the mountains, and I lived.  And maybe the fear was still there.  Maybe I had to tell myself to “get it together” while driving.  Maybe I felt some tingles of panic when I read the “Don’t be fooled” sign.  But I didn’t let the fear stop me.

And this was my reward!