Day 20-Rest

 I’ve mentioned renewal and recharging in previous posts.  Refreshing my mind and spirit is a priority, but I often I forget to rest my body.

Do you ever pretend that you aren’t getting sick?  I do that.  I feel the symptoms coming on and think, “No, I can overcome this!”  It doesn’t always work for me.

Katy has been battling a bit of a cold this week and yesterday, I started coughing.  Not too much, so I thought, “No problem!”

After a morning errand, I went on my run.  I’ve been eyeing a particularly challenging part of the trail that I haven’t explored yet.  I’m not sure what the mileage is.  My estimate would be between 8 and 10 miles.  It would make it the longest distance that I’ve gone.

I needed a run.  It was another long week at work.  Renewal was important.  Twenty feet into my run, I started to get a cramp.  I had a long road ahead of me.  Every once and a while, I get these and keep going. 

This incoming cold mixed with the cramp made me doubt the entire run.  I got to the half mile mark and thought about turning around.  In the end, I ran 7 miles.  I looked longingly at the mountain that I wanted to climb.  And then nearly fell on my face.  On a trail run, you really can’t run and look longingly at anything but the trail in front of you.  At least I can’t.

I got home, feeling pretty satisfied that I still accomplished a long run, when the cold symptoms intensified.  My body was telling me “enough.”

I stocked up on Emergen-C and tea at the store and made soup for dinner.  I hope my family isn’t getting tired of soup.  I’ve been making a different kind every time, but we have it a couple times a week.  What can I say, it’s a celebration of the cooler weather.  And now I don’t feel good and soup sounded so good.  It was so good, by the way.

I had to let go of my other to-dos.  I’m feeling a little twitchy from not accomplishing everything today.  But that could be chills from this cold, too.

Sometimes I have to stop.  Sometimes I need rest.  And soup.  And hot tea.  And my coffee pjs.

 

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Day 19-I Will Wait

Billy is one of the most even keeled people that I know.  Thankfully Lucy has inherited that trait from him.  It took me a while, but now I understand why life is easier when Lucy is around with Katy and me.  Katy and I tend to go into overreacting or panic mode.  Lucy brings us down a notch or two.

Billy is a man of few words.  But his presence is calming.  He has been there through those dark times.  Through survival mode.  He was simply there.

And I came home
Like a stone
And I fell heavy into your arms
These days of darkness
Which we've known
Will blow away with this new sun

For someone like myself who tends to overreact, it is a blessing to have someone like Billy who is so even-tempered.  Being around Billy, I feel calmer. 

I have had some really crummy days at work.  Being a social worker married to someone in law enforcement can be both good and bad.  The good being he gets it when I have a bad day.  There have been moments when I have asked him to come home on time, instead of working late, and he does, without question.  He understands. 

With Billy, I don’t have to pretend to be a person who holds it all together.  I can fall apart, and he’s still the same.  And I know that he is with me, as I put myself back together.   

So I'll be bold
As well as strong
And use my head alongside my heart

But it’s not always like this.  I’ve talked about how my job wears on me.  Wears on my soul.  At times, Billy’s job wears on him too.  I can tell when it’s starting to get bad.  He doesn’t need to tell me.  I can tell just with how he is.  And it throws me off.  He’s my rock.

So how do I encourage someone who helps me stay stable and sane?  How do I encourage a man of few words?  I give him his space.  I encourage him to go on long hikes or bike rides.

And I will wait, I will wait for you

The quotes throughout this post are from a Mumford and Sons song.  I heard it several times before I started to make some connections.  You know how that is, that moment when a song becomes personal.  It made me think of Billy.  It made me think of what I can do to encourage him.  I will wait.

He has been there through survival mode.  He has been there in my moments of wanting to give up.  So in his low moments, I will wait.

 

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Day 18-Keep Your Head Up

When I think of the person I want to be, one of the words that clearly comes to mind is “encourager.”  I suppose that makes sense, considering my profession.

This is about who I am to the people around me.  The people who see me every day.  The people who I only share a moment with.

What am I doing in those every day moments to encourage others? 

Recently, I read about George Crane’s Compliment Club in the 1920s.  He encouraged his students to deliver a sincere compliment each day to 3 different people.  What an amazing way to encourage others!  I have been trying to do it.  It can be really challenging.

The biggest surprise-the look of shock on someone’s face when you deliver a sincere compliment.  It makes me think that there isn’t enough kindness in the world if someone is shocked by a compliment.

I’ve also been going out of my way to make eye contact and smile at strangers.  What if that is the only smile they see all day?

Maybe for one moment, I can bring someone hope.  I can bring someone joy.  Maybe it’s with a kind word.  Or a kind look.

Is it my job to bring joy to the world?  Well, no.  But I do want to share kindness with others. 

Am I like this all the time?  No.  Sometimes I’m harsh.  Sometimes I’m full of regret about being harsh.  That’s when forgiveness comes in.

This isn’t about perfection.  Perfection doesn’t exist, remember?  This is about trying to be the best person I can be.

I’ve been listening to The Lumineers a lot lately.  If I had known that you could play the cello in a rock band, maybe I would have kept it up after the fourth grade.  Anyway, the lyrics from one of their songs keeps running through my head, “Keep your head up, keep your love.”

Simple words that encourage me.  I hope I am giving you simple words that encourage you.

I hope that when you read this blog, you are encouraged.  I hope you know that you are brave.  I hope you know that it is ok to stop running from fear.  I hope you know that you are enough. 

 

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Day 17-Forgiveness

Ever have a bad moment?  A bad day?  Week?  I’ve had many.  Who hasn’t?

Ever been hard on yourself for that moment, day, week?  I have.

I was sharing my relief tonight with a friend that the ladies were in bed.  It wasn’t a great evening.  Being the friendly social worker that she is, she was trying to make helpful suggestions (she was trying to “social work” me).  My reply was that it was a bad day.  I wasn’t concerned.  And really, I wasn’t.

We are all allowed those bad moments.  So why am I so hard on myself when I have them?

I don’t know that there is an answer to that question.

There is forgiveness.  I am allowed to make mistakes.  I expect that I will make mistakes.

It’s not that easy though, is it?  To simply say, “I forgive myself.”  There’s an undercurrent of, I should have known better, I should have done something else.  The should haves.

And what about looking at the actions of others?  Feeling wronged or slighted?

Forgiveness for me is about moving on.  Letting go of that burden of obsessing about a situation-a situation I created, a situation another person created or a situation I think the other person created.  And there is a difference between the last two.  At times, I have misinterpreted someone’s actions.  I have given those actions meaning where there was none.  I made it personal.

Today didn’t end strong.  That’s ok.  Not every day will.  Tomorrow will be a new opportunity.  Probably more opportunities to make mistakes.  That’s ok too.  There will also be opportunities to be the person.

 

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Day 16-Other People

Early on in this series, I mentioned how quickly negatively spreads.  One person starts complaining about their day and suddenly everyone else joins in with their own list of complaints.

Ever wonder what would happen if positivity could spread that quickly?  If kindness could spread that quickly?

I have people in my life who can spread positivity, who can spread kindness that quickly. 

It is a blessing.

I will admit, it seems a bit annoying when you are feeling low and want a good brood.  But what does a good brood do?  And why does it seem like a better option to be alone and sulky?  It certainly doesn’t make me feel any better.

These people who spread joy…they are inspirational.

When I want to complain, they let me get it out and then help me move on so I don’t become obsessed.  Because most of the things in life that cause me grief are just meaningless anyway.  But negativity has a way of making everything seem like a big deal.  It’s really not. 

Do they have perfect lives?  No, of course not.  Because perfection doesn’t exist.  But they value life for what it is…a blessing.  And even in their own troubles, they are willing to lift other people up.  Because they know that lifting up others helps them move on with their own concerns.  Helps them gain new perspective.

Are these other people responsible for my happiness?  Of course not.  Only I am.  I choose how I feel.

I still need people like this.  People who don’t take things personally.  People who believe the best in others.  People who spread joy.

I think we all need people like this.

Maybe one day I can be a person like this.

 

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