Desperate Prayers

Months ago, I read a quote about life’s struggles helping you appreciate the good times.  I thought that if I had read that quote during a challenging time, I probably would have been a little (or a lot) angry, with my response being, yeah, right.

But this isn’t one of those times for me where life is full of day to day challenges (thankfully).  So I am able to reflect on the past and agree with the words in the quote.  My truth is that if I hadn’t been through survival mode, I probably wouldn’t appreciate the life I have right now.  Sure, I would be happy, but I wouldn’t have the sense of reflection that I do now.  And these days, when I am able to enjoy my family, may not seem as sweet without the memory of working seven days a week.

I realize that many people are experiencing a world full of day to day challenges.  They would read a quote like that and become even more defeated (or angry).  When you are in the middle of a struggle and can’t see a way out, words like that simply don’t provide comfort.  They are only words.

And I’m not just talking about folks from my professional world.  I’m talking about everyone.  I might be talking about you.

Struggle can mean lots of things.  Finances.  Relationships. Health.  Loss.  And more.

Your world might be full of heart hurts and pain.

You might feel stuck.

You might not see the end to this struggle.  The struggle that you thought would only last for a season has lasted for years.

In the dark of night, when everyone around you seems to be sleeping peacefully, you are awake with worry.  Your prayers are desperate.  Sometimes you can only pray, help.

To you, the world seems to be full of people who have it together.  People who have a better set of circumstances.  People who have never been through the struggle.

Maybe you will never be grateful for the struggle.  Maybe you will never be the same person you were before the struggle.  Maybe you will never feel like you can be completely healed.

Those may be your truths.

There are so many things I would like to write, words of comfort that could encourage you through this time of desperate prayers.

But they would only be words.

I can’t possibly know your struggle.  I can’t fix things for you.  I can’t tell you that everything will be ok.  Because everything might not be ok.

Instead, I want you to know that I am thinking of you.  When I am on a long run and clearing my head, I think about all of you with desperate prayers.  At the end of a good day, when I am feeling grateful for my life, I think of you.  At the end of a bad day, when I am feeling low, I know that my struggles are small compared to yours. 

I pray that you are blessed with what you need to make it through your struggle.

It doesn’t seem like enough.  It never does. 

But my heart is still with you.