Special Order

A couple of posts ago, I referenced a project I was making for Lucy.  The project that had me making multiple trips to craft stores.  I wanted to give her a necklace with the word “grace” on it.  It may have been easier if I would have made her a t-shirt that said, “perfection does not exist.”

My first ideas hit a few snags, so I tried to find a simple necklace charm with the word “grace.”  Couldn’t find one.  In multiple stores.  Faith, belief, trust were all abundant but grace didn’t exist.

Something seems wrong about that.  I couldn’t find a simple word to describe “I make lots of mistakes and that’s ok because perfection does not exist.”  Seriously, this is an important concept here.

I ended up with this idea of creating a clay pendant with the word “grace.”  This was a simple project that I made incredibly way too complicated.

Last week, I was down to two styles.  I brought it to work to show my coworkers.  I prefaced the unveiling of the pendant with “I realize the irony in looking for perfection in a pendant that has the word ‘grace’ on it.”

They were kind.  And they also told me to stop making more tester pendants.

I didn’t listen to the voice of reason, of course, and made six more that night. 

And then I realized that I would never make up my mind.  And that it was ok to let it go.  I decided to show Lucy what I had been working on and let her choose. 

She was thrilled.

She probably would have been thrilled with my very first version.  She didn’t expect perfection.  She was simply happy that I thought of her.

Once again, I ignored grace.  I needed perfection.  And once again, I failed.

Sigh.  But even though I think that I failed, grace was still there.

Through this pendant making process, I’ve been thinking about that word, grace.  Grace isn’t something that we need to special order.  Grace is always there for us.

Grace is this beautiful concept that we don’t need to be perfect.  It is ok to be ourselves, faults and all.

But why is it so difficult to receive grace?  Just look at the selection of available charms-faith, belief, love-all are readily available.  But to allow ourselves the reprieve from the demands of perfection…well…maybe that shouldn’t be so easy.

But it is.

We make it hard on ourselves.  We take on the burdens of the idea of perfection.  Ok, maybe you don’t, but I certainly do.

I think about how I finished the necklace, with a few coats of Mod Podge.  Mod Podge softened the edges of the pendant.  A bit like grace softening my spirit.

As I went to attach the ring holding the pendant to the necklace, I scratched part of the pendant.  And I laughed.  Because that is just like life.  We think we have it figured out, all perfect, and there’s always another scratch.  So I put on a bit more Mod Podge and waited for my mistake to blur into the pendant.

Our mistakes, our scratches, our imperfections, these make us who we are.  And when we feel a little too raw, when we expect too much of ourselves (or our circumstances), grace is always there. 

I suppose that it is only fitting that a pendant of grace has so many imperfections in it.  When I look at it, I think of all that went into it.

And it will serve as a reminder that grace shouldn’t be a struggle. 

Grace is always there.  Special order not required.


Linked up today with tuesdays unwrapped