Tuesday, April 9, 2013

One Day



Looking out the window today, all I see is snow.  And you know what, it doesn’t bother me.

I actually like spring snow.  It melts fast.  When it looks gloomy, I can reassure myself that this is only one day.  Hidden underneath the snow is spring. 

This isn’t like snow in the middle of winter.  Snow in the middle of the winter only means more snow.  And cold.

But this spring snow, well, it’s only a day. 

I can remind myself that I’ve been spending a lot of time in my happy place, enjoying the sunshine.  We even found a new place to eat.  Awesome burgers after a long trail run.  Shh…I had a double burger.  No need to judge, Billy already did.

It’s only one day.  Sometimes I repeat that mantra to myself on other days as well.  Some days are a struggle. 

Some days I struggle with work.  I struggle with being a mom.  I struggle with being a wife.  I struggle with it all.  But it’s only a day. 

Some days of struggle can melt into many.  Those are seasons.  These past few weeks have been a struggle to shrug off for me.  My arm started hurting a month ago, the same pain as last spring.  And I haven’t painted any grout this time.  I started to wonder if I should go to the doctor or get another armpit massage.  I kept telling myself, “If it still hurts by the end of this week, I will call the doctor.”  And then I would have a few good days and put it off.  Today when I woke up, I realized that my arm is on the mend.  Pain makes me grumpy, like many other folks, I’m sure.  It was starting to cloud my thinking.  It was starting to change my actions.  I wanted to retreat instead of being around my ladies.

I could look back on these past few weeks with regret.  But why?  There were still good moments mixed in there.  Moments of snuggling and reading books.  Moments of watching my ladies make me laugh.  Moments watching them be brave. 

So it wasn’t my best season.  That’s ok.  It was only a season.   And while I realize that a season is a gift of time that many people do not have, I realize that being hard on myself won’t help me appreciate my life.

You know how I always say, perfection doesn’t exist…well, last week, a colleague at a training said this little gem, progress not perfection.

I love that.  Maybe these haven’t been the greatest few weeks, but I am still moving forward. 

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Be kind, not judgey