I haven’t been sleeping well lately. And this isn’t meant to be said as a complaint, more as a statement of fact.
I get so tired around 8:30-9 pm that I run into bed. I have mentioned before that I turned into my dad and go to bed super early, haven’t I?
The problem is that I wake up around 2-3 am, and my brain turns on. After about 1-2 hours of overthinking every situation I encountered the previous day, I fall asleep again for another hour before the alarm goes off.
For a while, I thought it was Girl Scout cookies. Not eating them, but dealing with selling them. I read a post today that changed my perspective a bit. I realized that my sleep difficulty is part of a larger issue of feeling frantic. And selling the cookies was part of feeling frantic.
To me, feeling frantic means feeling consumed by life. This is about the to-dos and other obligations. This is about trying to make time for my family and myself.
This is about not having enough quiet.
I need lots of down time, remember? I am like a small child.
When I’m on my run to bed every night, I give the blog a fleeting thought. I should write a post. But I’m too tired. I think not creating that down time with writing is wreaking a little havoc. Writing gives my brain a little time to unwind and shut down. Quiet those 2 am thoughts.
I haven’t been making enough time for quiet.
And I feel frantic. I forget things, I procrastinate, I rush.
Those quiet moments throughout the day, those moments that we aren’t filling with to-dos, obligations or technology, those keep us centered. Those moments help me to refocus so I don’t feel frantic. I am then able to really focus on my priorities.
Today was a short day for me at work. Since I have been home, I have had to quiet several to-dos. I need time to simply be. So I sit at the computer, wrapped up in a blanket and put my words down. I hope that those thoughts finally leave my head and allow for some quiet.