I never knew that time could pass so quickly until I had
kids. Those long days (and nights) of
feedings, diaper changes, toddler antics seem like a lifetime ago. I look at pictures of when the girls were
babies and can’t believe how much time I feel I have lost.
One of the reasons that I look back with such disbelief is
that for many years I was in a bit of a fog.
Working overnights or working two jobs or both.
Now that I have been out of that fog for many months and can
actually experience how quickly life passes, I’ve come to realize a scary fact.
These warm kittens are growing up.
And I want to be a part of that. Not simply a bystander, looking on from a
thick haze. I want to be part of their
lives.
This year, I want to focus on developing those relationships
around me. Strengthening the
relationship with my girls is part of that.
Turning off the technology and meeting the girls where they are. Saying yes. Saying yes
when Katy wants to look at another I-Spy book together. Saying yes
when Katy invites me upstairs to my own bed to read books to her. Saying yes
when Lucy asks for help putting together a craft.
In yesterday’s post, I mentioned a night when the girls and
I were sewing together. Those simple
moments, where I have let go of an agenda, are the most meaningful to me. They warm my heart.
Simplicity is also rooted in building relationships. This isn’t about spending money on fancy
outings. This goal is about appreciating
the every day activities with those people I spend every day with.
Of course, this also includes Billy. This includes the rest of my family, my
friends.
This focus of building relationships is also greater than my
friends and family around me.
I’ve mentioned a few times before that I am a social
worker. This business of helping people,
you can’t enter it lightly. It changes
you. It changes how you see the
world. But for me, it feels right.
Often, I think of what I used to tell others when I was 18
and choosing social work as a major. I want to help people. To be honest, that’s probably the answer that
I still give people when they ask why I chose social work as a profession. That response seemed so trivial.
Until lately. Last
month, I wrote a post using a Mr. Rogers quote that you
have probably seen on facebook. Here’s
the quote:
When
I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to
me, “Look
for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day,
especially in times of 'disaster,' I remember my mother's words, and I am
always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers - so many
caring people in this world.
But I can be a helper.
Again, this thread of simplicity emerges. Being present for other people (family,
friends or strangers) and showing that I care, well, this is the goal.
As with all of my goals, I am trying to base them in reality. I am trying to set myself up for
success. The reality is that after a
week of working with people or dealing with drama from my ladies, I also like
quiet. I also like to be alone. And that’s ok.
Moving forward, I have to remember that these goals don’t define who I am. This is simply a guide for what I want to
focus on this year.
Awake. Being present. Actively participating in the life around me.
And sometimes that will also mean quiet. Alone time.
Recharging.
That’s ok too.
2013 is going to be a good year.
This post is part of my focus for 2013 to
be awake.
I'm a counselor and I hate it when people act like it's naive or immature to get involved. Just as you said, we cannot fix the world but we can maybe fix one little sidewalk crack, and maybe, somehow, that will make a difference.
ReplyDeleteExactly. Those little moments do make a difference.
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