Colors Fade

Our journey back from my mom’s funeral covered a few states.  That’s a lot of long hours…to think.

I spent a lot of time in silence, looking out the window.  Everything looked different.  I couldn’t describe it.  It just did.

A song came on, “Colors” by Amos Lee.  I’ve always loved that song.  It was painful to listen to that day, particularly this lyric, when you’re gone, all the colors fade.

There it was.  The grass wasn’t as green, the sky wasn’t as blue, images didn’t seem as crisp.

I thought I was going crazy.  Driving to work, I noticed the same.  And the images that brought me peace and comfort, the rolling hills, pastures and mountains brought melancholy.

It wasn’t until I got to work and was sharing my story with a friend that I put it together.  She talked about when her mom died.  “The grass wasn’t the same color,” she said.

And there it is.

My world is different now.

One day, I hope the world around me brings me comfort again.

I hope the gentle deer on the hill bring me joy.  I hope the cattle grazing make me smile.

I hope the grass is green again.

I hope.