Homecoming

I have spent this past year circling over ideas of who I want to be.

Trying out new ideas, letting go of ones that no longer fit.

Grieving what life used to look like.  I didn't realize how hung up I was on this person that I used to be.  And I'm not even referring to how dramatically life changes after a major loss.

I'm talking about the day to day changes that you only notice after a few years have gone by.  Realizing that I am no longer connected with those things that kept me grounded.

Recently, someone pointed out how much change I had been through in the past three years.  Moving, job change, life change, deep loss.  I got the impression that they were implying that it was good that I was slowing down, finding some stability.  I could have been reading too much into what they said.

Still, it stayed with me.  I've thought a lot about it in the past week.

Yes, I have been through a lot of changes in the past three years.  Haven't we all?  I don't know people whose life remains the same.  

And I don't want to be a person who remains the same.  I want to keep learning and growing.

So here I am, finding peace with my new self.  Struggling with that, at times.

A major career change (and adventure into being brave) has changed up my day to day life.

And I get to recreate what my life looks like.

I feel a pull to return back.  

This return back isn't to the old person.  We can't ever go back.

This pull is to return to the person I want to be.  To return to what keeps me joyful, healthy, and centered.

I will be trying out new ideas.

And I will experience failure.  And I will experience success.

And I will lean in.



Side note: I made some changes with the blog and it looks like my old pictures aren't pulling up.  Oops.