At the beginning of February, I realized how tired I was of
grief. Tired of that shadow. Tired of those consuming moments. Tired of overthinking.
Fed up, I suppose.
I spent a lot of time with my sewing machine. I even sewed her a cover. Lots of sewing with some knitting thrown
in.
And I have to say, this month has felt pretty good. I have felt lighter.
For the most part, I’m a self-taught sewist. I’ve had some lessons (both formal and informal),
but most of my learning comes from internet tutorials, youtube and the many
mistakes that I make.
Of course, I have my favorite websites and youtube
instructors. Every Friday, I allow
myself a little extra time to go through my favorite sites for
inspiration. One morning, I realized
that two of my favorites (Vanessa Vargas Wilson and Jenny Doan) paired up for
some projects and an interview. I may
have actually squealed when I saw this.
Look folks, it’s the small things, right? During the interview, Vanessa was asking
Jenny about any healing benefits of quilting.
Jenny discussed how many of her students come to quilting after a
loss. She shared the following
reflection….creating is healing.
That really put this past month into perspective.
Grieving is about loss.
Healing is about the future.
It is about moving forward. It is
about getting back to life. Or
recreating what life is like.
And I get it, there is no end date to grief. Feeling fed up with grief doesn’t mean that it’s
gone. There will still be sad
moments. And I know that I will always miss my mom.
Healing is moving forward with the sad moments. Not letting them define my life and thoughts
anymore.
Crafting is only one part of this picture. It’s exercise. It’s eating 4 ½ cups of produce (almost)
every day. It’s finding connection with
people. It’s making time for myself
again.
It’s realizing that my life does not look like how I thought
it would and still moving forward.
