The Escape

 

The other night, the ladies had a sleepover at Grandma and Grandpa’s.  Billy worked late so I had the house all to myself.

It was lovely.

There were moments of productivity and moments of simply spacing out.

Solitude.

The next morning, Billy asked me if I was bored the previous night.  That was a serious question.

In case you are wondering, the answer I gave him was, No.  The answer I provided in my head was, Are you joking?  Of course, I wasn’t bored.  It was great!  It would have seemed rude to provide that answer, though.

I needed a night like that.  I’ve been spending way too many early mornings with Powerpoint, working on training materials.  I realized this week that my presentation was not going to be perfect (because perfection doesn’t exist), and I needed to let that idea go.  Easier said than done.

Still, that night provided some much needed rejuvenation.  I have been feeling a little unfocused lately.  The ladies only have three weeks left of summer break.  There are projects in my mind that I would like to do but can’t seem to get started.

I read through some old entries in my journal the other night, reminding myself of some truths.  Truths about what I need to focus and feel awake.  Lately, I have been filling too much of my time with escape- computer, reading, etc.  While escape can be good, there is a point where it starts interfering with living.  I think I am at that point.

I have been trying to give myself some grace around that, really looking at the reasons that I feel escape is necessary.  And reminding myself that when I am doing those things that keep me awake, those can be just as refreshing as the escape.