Birthday

I’ve always felt a little somber about my birthday.  Having a summer birthday as a kid meant you weren’t in school.  You didn’t get that special recognition in the classroom-the birthday treats, etc.  Your day.

I’m not the person who has a “birthday month” or a “birthday week.” 

To me, it’s just a day.  Some are better than others.  Like any other day.

A few years ago, I turned 30.  That birthday, well, it was like any other day, I suppose.  A couple of weeks before that birthday, I found the perfect song.

The BirthdayPresent II by Loudon Wainwright III.  It has that special melancholy that I always feel around this time of year.

For me, it’s not the bit about getting older that is necessarily hard to stomach. It’s more about another year having gone by.  And how did I spend it?  And where am I going? 

So the song goes:

I'm going to give you a present
That's just what I'm gonna do
To remind you to forget the past and the future
All that regret and worry's just bad for you
And when you unwrap your present
Throw the paper and the ribbon away
Remember dear
It's now we're here
So happy birthday

The new year and Spring aren’t the only times to start anew.  Every day is a chance to start anew.  To let go of regrets.  To stop worrying.  To enjoy the gift that is today.

Next year, when I am once again feeling the melancholy of my birthday, will my heart be full of regret for the year that has gone by?  I hope not.  But if it is, the only thing to do is let it go. 

And start anew.